Healing · Poem · Poetry · Reiki

Shadow

Shadow

 

Shadow clings to me;

I, to the Light.

No angle to the sun

Will rid me of Shadow.

Shadow is tallest

At highest Light,

And dimmest

At highest Night.

 

Freedom from Shadow

Is an illusion.

She is always over my shoulder and

Hard to slap

When she constantly rebukes me

Into my tormented ears.

 

Evasive yet underfoot,

Like old gum

Stuck to my shoes

being dragged

Through mud and straw.

 

Even at night,

Shadow grips onto me.

My specter in lamp light,

How she looms across a wall

Watching me read,

And how she enfolds me as I sleep

With her cold arms.

 

Sleek, silky Sorceress,

No face,

Only form;

She is the outline of

The dark side of my soul,

The color of abyss,

The size of void.

Her breath reeks of

Cosmic dust.

 

She is my pesky hag,

My tyrant,

My saboteur,

My martyr,

My critic,

My blackmailer.

 

My constant companion

And biographer,

She has written the novels of all my lives,

The Akashic Scholar assigned to me at birth.

My secrets rest with Shadow;

She knows all my doubts, fears, trespasses, sins.

 

Shadow holds the causes

Of my discords and dis-ease.

My contender, she greedily obscures

That which I must discover,

My authentic selves

In all my lives.

 

If I uncover my truth,

She will lose me forever,

And she cannot bear to be alone.

Shadow has no shadow

To bear.

 

Still, she must give up my secrets

If I persist.

Though she is a wounded healer,

Shadow will never heal

Unless I do,

Unless I listen and turn to the Light

In such a way

That Shadow is standing

Next to me,

Not behind me,

My Sacred Sister,

Holding my hand.

 

My dear Shadow,

You can never abandon me,

Nor I you.

 

©2018 Barbara Harris Leonhard @extraordinarysunshineweaver.blog

Image: pixabay.com

Audio · Ekphrastic Poetry · Original Digital Art · Poem · Poetry

Clandestine Spirit

Clandestine Spirit

Clandestine Spirit, there is a fold

In the universe for you.

Obscurity hidden, your disguise,

A soul unmanifested,

Cloistered layers of debris of

Expectation and self-deprecation,

Your sparkle diminished into secrets,

 

Fear of scintillating into recognition.

Your flame, unsanctioned,

Unholy fire of dead stars.

What is your jewel to guard,

Entombed truth?

Is this place your urn

Or your womb?

Fear is the breath of sin;

Forgiveness, the gold of God.

Copyright © 2017/10/22 Barbara Harris Leonhard @extraordinarysunshineweaver.wordpress.com

Image: original art “Clandestine Spirit” © Martha Harris See Martha’s Artistic Flarings @artisticflarings.blog

 

 

 

 

 

 

Audio · Poem · Poetry · Voices from the Veil

I Am Secrets: Voices from the Veil VI

I am Secrets,

Slumbering here by the creek,

Sunlight hitting my rainbow heart

As I glisten like a blanket

Over my bed of grass and lady fern,

Not surrendering though they beckon:

It’s time for you now

To spring into hope and truth.

 

I am Secrets.

All my treasures gone to ash,

Leaving me with lapping waters

As I cling onto my soil, said

Trampled by those arriving

To skip rocks

Or capture frogs,

Crooning for mates.

 

I am Secrets.

Caught here as food

For the rushes.

Rooted soul, I cling

Like ivy to a cold stone wall.

But a whisper to those searching

Throughout time turned into past

And dead memories.

 

Willows weeping,

Casting shadows on my crib

Quilted in riparian,

Visited by butterflies

Loving my nectar and blooms

Of my camouflage

And seclusion.

I am Secrets.

 

Copyright © July 28, 2017 Barbara Harris Leonhard

Image: pixabay

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Audio · Poem · Poetry · Voices from the Veil

Voices From the Veil

I.    Listen to My Story

I was only a teen who had no sense.

That’s why I’m here

In this spot under the trees.

Won’t they forget me?

I’m looking for them to tell them

I am here and

Just to say my name

One last time.

Why was I so senseless?

The clouds took me too soon.

I listened to the wrong tunes,

Dark, pounding, impudent.

Now I am lost.

Can you help me?

Where can I go?

Is that the door?

I’m just a kid with no sense.

How was I supposed to know

What would happen?

I can’t get past their tears.

They hold me tight.

How can I break free?

Where is God?

No, don’t leave me; listen to my story.

I’ll be fine and find my way

If my girlfriend is OK.

Go on. Go on. Tell her.

Don’t hold me down with your tears.

I have a story, a reason.

They told me I would feel great.

But now I’m here looking for the way, just a kid.

No, don’t leave!

I was young, buff, full of vigor.

Girls loved me. I was strong and grand to all.

Still, I was stupid.

Tell them I am sorry.

What was I thinking?

Now I’m here.

It will take me a while to see the light.

Their tears are like ropes.

But I’ll be fine. I’m sorry.

Put away my senior ring.

Take apart my room.

Box my trophies. I have a place.

They will take me there.

I’m just there to say I’m okay.

I can be free once they

Loosen the ropes of tears.

Fill my room with your own gifts.

There is no point to sing such grief.

II.     Tell Them Who Will Listen

Listen to my story.

I was a man who worked hard,

A laborer.

Dirt lined my nail beds

From toil that cost me years.

My hands were calloused,

But not my heart.

My wife, pregnant,

We were happy.

Our home, built and painted in all the colors.

Still, we lost that little soul too soon.

Our tears washed our souls

But could not flush off our grief.

My toil was not the cure

For this deficit in love.

Our loss stole our smiles.

We sat like trees for years

Rooted in grief.

Can you hear me?

Though torn apart,

We are not alone here.

This is my garden now,

And we are tending it.

We are family in loss,

But not in this garden.

Tell them who will listen.

III.     Hello, It’s Mom

Hello, it’s Mom. You called for me, so here I am!

Dad has visited you. Do you recall the dreams?

I called you shortly after everything,

You thought it was just static,

But I had so much to tell you.

I’m in a good place.

I can see old friends and play cards.

I’m learning about

How it is,

Who we are,

Why we are.

Maybe I’ll be back there.

Someday and one day.

So many lessons to review.

So much to learn yet.

I recall everything;

You were a big help.

Don’t worry if you cried in fear.

I know you did your best.

I was not me.

I’m here for you now.

I’ll be fine; let go of worry.

Dad knows best here.

He’s been here before

As he told you.

We’ve seen all the old souls

In our ancient lineage.

You will know, someday.

I am more than Mom,

Dad is more than Dad,

You know?

We have many forms in this race.

God has God has God.

There is no beginning, no end.

It’s like a quilt, many stitches and layers

With complex designs.

As above; so below.

You are a finger of God

Reaching out to the human being until rebirth,

And so you will return to God.

And God will return to God as well.

Then we will be one again.

Essence to life to dust to essence.

We here know this.

I will return, and there are many who will

As will you.

This is our choice.

We are fine!

So glad you asked!

Let’s keep in touch.

Much love,

Mom

IV.     Tiny Markers

Tiny markers gently placed on raised soil.

Little bears, backpacks, and angels with infant wings.

Muffled voices whisper truth from their grand little beds

Pillowed by soil wet from tears.

Gabriel led me there,

Where I placed tiny gifts for these great souls.

Some were twins.

Some never breathed.

Some never cried.

Some never laughed.

Some were ready for a school day

Let out by snow.

Scattered about, little toy soldiers

And dolls dressed in lace.

All tossed about by wind and storm.

All these unopened birthday gifts

And holiday treasures

Clutched by tiny hands.

All were together in this

Special garden of woe

Visited by parents

Coming to pray

Among the new sprung buds in Spring.

Who, God, did this?

Why such sorrow in early light?

What can we see in these early departures?

Who gave me Gabriel to show me this truth

That dust to dust is so young?

Or was it just little cries to come out and play?The

V.   You Sit in Your Garden

You sit in your garden but

Where am I?

You, there, surrounded and protected

By fauna and flora

As you swat at bees

And stomp on ants to cross the grass.

You laugh as you eat Light and

Make merry with companions.

I’m lost to that dream now.

It was not my choice

But an accident, unforeseen.

I was just as wanton and naive.

How little I knew of myself,

Or the sun, the rain, the stars,

Or of the end of time.

I was not ready to leave,

So here I am attached to cold stone

With you only in a haze, and

I cannot speak your name for

Lack of a translation.

Where am I but nowhere.

Who am I but no one.

Night is always; always is night.

I cling to the wall of night

With no release and no joy,

Not even you in your garden

Are ready to know me this way.

Not even lightning knows my name,

For it is a mere flicker to my rage.

I am blind in this abyss, stumbling

To find a guest in this forlorn place,

To find a slice of dawn in endless night, where

I am but a mortar to shadows

As you slumber in your garden.

VI. I Am Secrets

I am Secrets,

Slumbering here by the creek,

Sunlight hitting my rainbow heart

As I glisten like a blanket

Over my bed of grass and lady fern,

Not surrendering though they beckon:

It’s time for you now

To spring into hope and truth.

I am Secrets.

All my treasures gone to ash,

Leaving me with lapping waters

As I cling onto my soil,

Trampled by those arriving

To skip rocks

Or capture frogs,

Crooning for mates.

I am Secrets.

Caught here as food

For the rushes.

Rooted soul, I cling

Like ivy to a cold stone wall.

But a whisper to those searching

Throughout time turned into past

And dead memories.

Willows weeping,

Casting shadows on my crib

Quilted in riparian,

Visited by butterflies

Loving my nectar and blooms

Of my camouflage

And seclusion.

I am Secrets.

VII. Twain

I feel called by tunes of the river’s lapping.

The steam and the boat on a course

Navigating dry bed and trees uprooted

Looking for the best route

Lit by the moon,

Seared by the sun.

Heaven can wait for me on this river run.

I feel pulled to tears, but none will fall.

Grief, let go.

What is this block –

An iron wall?

Can rust not weaken this ship of ore?

Anguish, wasting tears in horrid torrents,

Masked as laughter, carved as spears.

Courage, let me see the journey’s end,

The rowing done,

The mast stowed

In Halley’s light.

VIII.   The Jewel

There is no date of my passing

On this cold stone,

Only my one name.

Those were tough times

When etchings in granite

Cost diamonds.

My name was a jewel

Captured from a life

Gone with the waves of time, as I.

I recall not my arrival or departure

As this jewel,

For it’s been ages.

I have many names now

As I have come and gone

More than once.

For each earthly visit,

We all leave a snippet of our soul,

Waiting for a kind voice

Uttering our names,

And once heard, we gather ourselves up

Like flowers for a new display.

This is how it is.

Names are themselves souls.

So today I will gather myself up

For a new coming.

Thank you, my friend.

IX. The Garden of Ashes

How nice you stopped by here

To sit among us.

Yes, it’s fine. Have a seat.

See the walkway of stones

To this worn bench under the trees

Surrounded by shrubs in this garden of ashes.

We offer you this cool breeze

And this view of a grand city of granite

Sheltered by canopies of

Stately pin oaks with branches like arms

Hugging families bearing flowers.

How nice you stopped by!

We come just for the guests.

This isn’t our abode now.

Not many linger;

We coax each other, yet

There are the stubborn.

Well, we shouldn’t gossip.

They just need time to detach

From their marble statues and earthly beds.

Mischief can be trouble, and

Kids come looking for it.

How some carry on!

They hear stories of the shadows

That perform for the cameras,

We find it entertaining, but

Most souls never linger really;

They like the amenities of the Light.

Even if you bless the stones,

It isn’t needed really.

We only come for your visits.

 

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Copyright © 2017 Barbara Harris Leonhard

Image: Pigeon of Peace

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