Loop Poem

In Autumn (Two Drafts)

This is a loop poem, in which the last word of a line begins the next line. This first draft seemed bland to me, so I revised it by adding details and being looser with the rules for loop poems. I feel the looping can create unnecessary repetition and restrict exploration unless I can loosen up and stretch the boundaries of the form. What do you think?

Draft 1

Autumn is the lesson of leaves
leaves cling to branches in storms
storms batter the stronghold of trees
trees stand with grand resolve
resolve to hold their ground
ground captures falling leaves
leaves take to earth like sawdust
sawdust of fallen trees in sun
sun, the ancient watcher of autumn.

Draft 2

Autumn is the lesson of dying leaves.

Leaves, once lush from summer rain, cling to branches for life in storms.

Midday thunder storms batter the stronghold of bristling trees.

Aged trees, their arms flailing, stand with grand resolve,

a resolve to hold their place on eroded ground.

The wasted ground complies to capture the fallen.

Fallen leaves take to earth like the sand of ocher sawdust.

The ocher sawdust of shedding trees lies parched in low sun.

The sun, the ancient watcher of late autumn.

 

poem and image: ©Barbara Harris Leonhard, extraordinarysunshineweaver.blog

Loop Poem

In Autumn (Two Drafts)

This is a loop poem, in which the last word of a line begins the next line. This first draft seemed bland to me, so I revised it by adding details and being looser with the rules for loop poems. I feel the looping can create unnecessary repetition and restrict exploration unless I can loosen up and stretch the boundaries of the form.

Draft 1

Autumn is the lesson of leaves
leaves cling to branches in storms
storms batter the stronghold of trees
trees stand with grand resolve
resolve to hold their ground
ground captures falling leaves
leaves take to earth like sawdust
sawdust of fallen trees in sun
sun, the ancient watcher of autumn.

Draft 2

Autumn is the lesson of dying leaves.

Leaves, once lush from summer rain, cling to branches for life in storms.

Midday thunder storms batter the stronghold of bristling trees.

Aged trees, their arms flailing, stand with grand resolve,

a resolve to hold their place on eroded ground.

The wasted ground complies to capture the fallen.

Fallen leaves take to earth like the sand of ocher sawdust.

The ocher sawdust of shedding trees lies parched in low sun.

The sun, the ancient watcher of late autumn.

 

poem and image: ©Barbara Harris Leonhard, extraordinarysunshineweaver.blog

Audio · Poem · Poetry

New Audio: Spared

Spared a winter but not a spring.

Hail thrashes, splitting the wind

Into crystals lit by flashes,

Revealing shadows touching down

Like long fingers pointing curses.

My husband, the one-eyed lamp,

In our basement cave,

Checking the radar on his I-phone.

The cats subdued by the growling wind,

Finding refuge under a table by their litter.

And I, swathed in a blanket,

Sitting on the porta-potty seat,

Left over from a surgery,

To remain a throne in a storm.

My messages failed to send.

Roars diminishing to low growls,

Lightning flails like extinguishing flames,

Thunder stomps like a child wanting attention.

It passes over without forgiving.

New-born daffodils embracing the deluge now strain for morning.

Even storms are gifts.

Copyright © 2017 Barbara Harris Leonhard

Image: Brusheezy (free download)

https://www.brusheezy.com/brushes/1464-lightning-brushes

lightning-brusheslightning-brushes

Audio · Poem · Poetry

Hades

Monstrous molten lightning and thunder

Twisting into Fujita’s cyclone of fire

From the realm of the dead.

The fist of Hades, the one

Fierce in battle,

Feared and loathed.

His scepter of burning bolts;

His chariot of ebony, narcissus and cypress;

His stallions’ breath of flames.

The rich one spewing forth

Precious rocks and metals

Sculpted as swords and daggers.

Settlements plundered.

Cerberus growls and guards the gates;

Those sacrificed

Avert their eyes.

 

Copyright © 2017 Barbara Harris Leonhard

Image: http://buzzhubb.net/incredible-pictures-of-volcanic-eruptions/  (The Chaiten, Chile volcano, which destroyed the town. The eruption lasted from May 2 to May 8, 2008.)

IMG_0515

 

 

Audio · Poem · Poetry

Spared

Spared a winter but not a spring.

Hail thrashes, splitting the wind

Into crystals lit by flashes,

Revealing shadows touching down

Like long fingers pointing curses.

 

My husband, the one-eyed lamp,

In our basement cave,

Checking the radar on his I-phone.

The cats subdued by the growling wind,

Finding refuge under a table by their litter.

 

And I, swathed in a blanket,

Sitting on the porta-potty seat,

Left over from a surgery,

To remain a throne in a storm.

My messages failed to send.

 

Roars diminishing to low growls,

Lightning flails like extinguishing flames,

Thunder stomps like a child wanting attention.

It passes over without forgiving.

New-born daffodils embracing the deluge now strain for morning.

Even storms are gifts.

 

Copyright © 2017 Barbara Harris Leonhard

Image: Brusheezy (free download)

https://www.brusheezy.com/brushes/1464-lightning-brushes

lightning-brushes