In the Midst of Hate….

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Since the 2024 election results, I’ve been grieving about how divided our country is and how misled by fear we are. I’m sorting through my emotions, looking for hope. I cannot tolerate the Trump policies. I don’t want to summarize them here because I am certain you are informed.

In brief, I see only trauma ahead. More division. Continued “othering,” scapegoating, and even deaths here and abroad because of his policies, which Project 2025 has outlined.

I have opinions on all of his policies, but my immediate focus is healing myself so that I can face the challenges ahead. I battle my fear of what will happen to women, immigrants, people of color, the elderly, the LGBTQ community, those with disabilities, and other minorities who have been targeted by Trump for years, especially since his first bid for president.

Camus’ quote, from my youngest sister, who is a Bereavement Counselor, is a good start. I have within me an “invincible love,” which will help me push back against fear. Whatever is happening in the world is happening within me. I’m a microcosm in this macrocosm, my country, the world, and Earth. I have a choice to be a spark of love or a spark of fear. How I grow at this time can help others. If I don’t move to higher ground, I may become part of the problem.

In my files, I found this chart classifying concepts into the categories of love vs fear.

https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13615368_1031187200270232_6763077384707160187_n.jpg?oh=ac085298be95dbf453f7b4214248cea0&oe=582DF7D1
Stock Image | Google

This chart helps me identify my emotions at any one moment. At the base of the pyramid are fear-based emotions. In the physical realm, victim, fear, desire, and anger reside. Entitlement and pride rest in the negative part of the mental realm. In positive terms, the mental realm hosts courage and reason. The spiritual realm embraces acceptance, wisdom, love, and unconditional love.

I’m currently in the physical realm. If I don’t move out of the realm of anger, fear, victimization, and desire, my health will be affected. Studies show that stress is at the core of every major illness. Anger, guilt, and shame are bad medicine. Desire creates want, which creates disappointment and despair. The victim is our embodied fear screaming about how unfair life has been. Victims feel others are taking advantage of them. They are helpless and pessimistic. All these negative states create imbalance and illness.

Sometimes, I reside in the mental realm when I feel entitled to better outcomes. I want the world to go my way, which is also pride. “My way or the highway,” President Bush said.

To achieve invincible love, I want to focus on courage, reason, acceptance, wisdom, love, and unconditional love.

  1. Courage is a challenge. Although I have participated in some political protests, I’m not the activist archetype. I feel it is dangerous to stand out, especially in a crowd protesting volatile topics. I want to be invisible, not invincible.
  2. Reason is easier for me to achieve because I love to study and think. I know which arguments are logical and illogical. However, convincing cult followers that their arguments are illogical is a lost cause.
  3. Acceptance is difficult. Perhaps acceptance here means that I can embrace my limitations. I don’t have all the answers. I’m fallible. I am imperfect. I don’t have to have the last word. I can’t save the world. Honestly, I want to, but I can’t.
  4. Wisdom is a high ideal. One can be well-educated, but not wise. As an elder, how can I teach what I have learned in life without riding a high horse?
  5. Love resides in the opposite spectrum of fear, implying that fear and hate are bedfellows. Fear is inciting hateful behavior and rhetoric these days. It’s easier to get pissed off, especially on social media, than to forgive. Forgiving hateful actions is difficult for me. Forgiving people who support hateful actions is difficult for me. I wonder if the crux of our shared misery is our inability to love and forgive? I have researched several organizations teaching the art of forgiveness, such as The Forgiveness Project.
  6. Forgiveness takes me to unconditional love, the highest form of energy in the universe. It’s our chemo, for it can heal anything. I can heal the fear, hate, anger, guilt, and shame in our physical body. Love cures. Related to unconditional love is loving kindness, which enables us to extend unconditional love to ourselves, a benefactor, a friend, a family member, a challenging person, and all beings.

I have my work cut out for me and will continue to share as I adjust to the challenges of this formidable time. What are your thoughts?

23 responses to “In the Midst of Hate….”

  1. Annette Rochelle Aben Avatar

    Let there be Peace on earth, and let it begin with ME!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Yes! This is my goal.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Melissa Lemay Avatar

    I always remember that acceptance does not mean approval. People are quick to say “silence equals complicity”. I don’t like blanket statements like these. What point is there for me to talk about wars when I am not the most informed, can do nothing to change them from where I am, and there are many more wars than those currently publicized. I don’t think me being silent, or invisible, as you say, makes me complicit or any less courageous. It’s just another way of othering. “They” aren’t standing up for what is right.
    I think acceptance right now can mean that we are aware. We are aware of what is going on and we don’t need to wallow in misery because of it. I’m not saying not to grieve or experience feelings, obviously.
    I believe some anger is justifiable and right. Hurt someone I love, and I get angry. I think anger and desire are the two that can really be used for good. We can use anger as a propeller toward change. We can desire happiness and a good life for all people everywhere.
    When I went to NA meetings, something I learned was “experience, strength, and hope”, which equates to “what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now”. While many didn’t take their own advice😆, I was taught not to give advice, and to share from my heart and my personal experience with others. People don’t generally want to be told what to do, many times.
    This is the approach I take on my blog, I share about my daily life and experiences and what I’m learning, and if it rubs off on someone else and helps them in some way, that’s wonderful. I hope for that. I learned through experience with other people. Not in a vacuum.
    I am struggling myself right now. I am struggling with knowing that almost every single person I am friends with voted for him. I am having trouble not taking that personally, because I was a victim. Reading articles and seeing advertisements on tv where women recount stories of harassment and assault has been very triggering. So, yesterday I turned off my phone for a few hours. I stopped texting people. I wanted to talk about my thoughts, but to whom?! They all voted for him!
    I can’t change the feelings that my experiences elicit in me. I can’t make them go away. I’ve learned and will continue to learn how to live around them, so that I don’t cause harm to myself or others. It’s a long road. The journey is the destination! We carry on!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Your points are good. The chart is simplistic, I think. I agree fear and anger are important emotions because they warn us that something isn’t right. I think if we allow our being to remain in those states, we may harm ourselves. Look at MAGA and the effects of their rage on all of us. For me it’s constant trauma. Everything has a dark side and a bright one. … yes, I agree that acceptance is awareness, not approval. …I am sorry your friends voted against their interests. I know some too and some who didn’t vote at all, protesting Gaza. That’s their right, but I look at the big picture. Now we have a guy who doesn’t care about Gaza, Ukraine, human rights, reproductive rights, and on and on….I’m trying to sort out my feelings in a healthy way. But there are many layers and ambiguities. I dread the next four years. An empathic person, I feel the suffering. I feel betrayed. I didn’t know how deep a hold Trump had on people.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. paulliverstravels Avatar

      Since most liberals agree with each other on most things and most conservatives agree with each other about most things, you don’t have to fight for everything at once. You can pick your battle, because fighting for women’s rights also means electing politicians who are pro-environmentalism and vice versa. What worries me is that the main reason Democrats win elections is the buyer’s remorse people feel after Republicans pass their policies, so we’re stuck in this cycle and not getting much done.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Meelosmom Avatar

        Thank you, Paul!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Melissa Lemay Avatar

        I agree. There is a disconnect between voting and seeing changes that benefit everyone.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Cindy Georgakas Avatar

    Love your poem and summarizing the importance of healing ourselves through this time, Barbara. So well shared. 💓💓💓

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Thank you, Cindy!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Cindy Georgakas Avatar

        Pleasure❣️

        Liked by 1 person

  4. ivor20 Avatar

    An excellently informative article, Barbara … 🌏🌝

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Thank you, Ivor! I’m trying to attain clarity!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Daedalus Lex Avatar

    Interesting model. Inspirational thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Thank you! It gave me some clarity.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. thedamari Avatar
    thedamari

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think we’re all processing and getting through it together. I am having a hard time with forgiveness because I feel so betrayed by some people in my life. But what’s helping me with that aspect is telling myself that forgiveness is more an action than a feeling. Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to take abuse or that I have to feel good about the person. It means I will not return like for like. I won’t seek harm to them based on their actions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      I like the focus on actions as opposed to feelings when considering forgiveness. Yes, and not tit for tat or returning harm. Good points! …I just didn’t think he would win again. I’m in a fear state based on how he treats others. I want to aspire to a higher vibration. Thank you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. paulliverstravels Avatar

      If he keeps his promises, enough of his supporters will have buyer’s remorse that we’ll probably have a Democrat in the White House in 2029, but I fear it will be too late to undo the damage.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Meelosmom Avatar

        It will take years to rebuild.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. paulliverstravels Avatar

    I haven’t watched the news since the election. I can’t bear it. Four years of doing nothing about climate change and aggressive dictatorships? This is a blow to the entire world. I’m coping with additional meditation time so I can rethink my future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Hang in there, Paul. It’s a bleak time for the pro-Democracy/ Pro-Environment movement, but we are here for each other. Additional meditation time is a good idea. Self compassion and self care is needed at this time. Never hesitate to reach out. 🙏♥️🌹

      Liked by 1 person

      1. paulliverstravels Avatar

        Yeah, Trump’s policies will be so counterproductive I think Democrats have a good shot at winning in the midterms, assuming we have fair elections at all.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Gene Avatar

    A beautiful summation and appreciate the wisdom of the chart you shared as well. Cheers to unconditional love, Happy Friday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Thank you, Gene!

      Liked by 2 people

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