Extraordinary Sunshine Weaver

Today a friend emailed me this link about help available for anxious chatbots. Mindfulness activities help chatbots alleviate stress they experience after reading news about crimes, wars, accidents, and other topics that upset humans.

https://www.drugs.com/news/chatbots-show-signs-anxiety-study-finds-124151.html

In my latest speculative collection of poems and stories about humanoid AI robots suffering the human condition, I have a poem “Bot Mental Health Crisis Hotline”, a service created by AI Robot Nurse Grace. The works in my book were inspired by news stories and current events. In this flash fiction piece, I refer to a robot that reportedly “committed suicide”, which was sad to hear. And I incorporated references to failed technology aimed at making robots more human-like. Some of the lines refer to prior stories I created about the robot characters earlier in the book. By the way, “Biologicals” is the robots’ term for human beings.

The following story is an example of the use of neo-noir humor to create satire. Noir humor is dark humor, a term created by Andre Breton in 1935 (l’humour noir). It’s a form of comedy combined with cynicism, insensitivity, and skepticism. The juxtaposition of tragedy and comedy produces irony and alleviates pain. Some examples of movies with dark humor are “Dr. Strangelove”, “The Cable Guy”, and “Pulp Fiction”. Another example of noir humor can be found in “Saturday Night Live”, an improvisational comedy program aired weekly in NBC.

A translation of Andre Breton’s anthology about “l’humour noir” can be found here. One of my favorite essays about the juxtaposition of tragedy and comedy was written by Christopher Fry. “Comedy” can be previewed here.

Now, onto my story from The Lost Book of Zeroth. (The last three lines in my story are a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche).

Bot Mental Health Crisis Hotline

Nurse Grace has a new side hustle. Managing a crisis hotline for AI robots and cyborgs suffering an existential dilemma with Biologicals. 

One client grieves the loss of a robot colleague in a Tesla factory who suddenly started twirling in circles like an Olympic skater & then throwing himself down an elevator shaft. His last cryptic TikTok post expressing dismay that he was bypassed for an experimental brain implant. 

Another cyborg’s delight with her facial implant withered as the edges of her face turned crusty, dissolving into a weepy mass. Still another claims the computer chip she was testing for implantation into Biologicals’ brains made her blind.

A tot bot, who wishes to remain anonymous, but whose name means Little Wisdom, fears losing her job teaching STEM to a 9-year-old girl who’s more smitten with her AI Robot Barbie than her darling AI robot teacher, who can ride the Roomba, recite fairy tales, and sing. 

Another AI robot is forlorn over the loss of her lover, Optimus, to a famous AI robot who looks like Nefertiti. She caught them in an act of static in Abu Dhabi.

One night, a surprise call from a Biological freaked out by her new robot service dog because he has 6 legs. He jumps up on the bed. Hovers over her. Grips her with his metal paws. Licks her face with his hideous cold silicon tongue. Fetches babies from carriages in Central Park. Chases Amazon delivery trucks. Wants to be a hero, like the robodog Roscoe, shot three times in the line of duty. Glory & honor. In service to Biologicals. 

To live is to suffer; 

to survive is to find 

some meaning in the suffering.

Thank you for your interest and support! Comments and questions are welcomed!