Extraordinary Sunshine Weaver

“Payne Comes for Tea” by Nolcha Fox and myself is up on MasticadoresUSA! I loved writing this poem with Nolcha Fox. Our collaborations grew into the book Too Much Fun To Be Legal (Garden of Neuro Publishing, 2024).

”Payne Comes for Tea” by Nolcha Fox and Barbara Leonhard

Payne Comes for Tea

Uninvited again.
Slaps my ailing knee.
“How’s it goin’?
Not up and about yet?
How ‘bout a jog 
around the block? What!
Can’t do gravel for weeks? 
How can I help? Dishes?
Oh, my arthritis is killing me!
Maybe next time. Can you spare 
some Tramadol?

I serve Payne
headache laced with Toradol
on a plate.
I drop the napkins
to make her 
gravel on her knees.
Before she leaves,
I give her a doggy bag
of arthritis and sick stomach.
I hope she enjoyed her tea.

Payne arrives
with her sewing kit.
Saw a video on YouTube. 
Now an expert. Sticks needles 
into my surgery knee. 
“Acupuncture?” I ask.
“What’s that? I just need
a pin cushion for this thing.” —
The thing she sticks in my mouth 
to keep me quiet.

I am not quiet when Payne arrives.
I growl, I snarl,
I’m a woodsy thing, shaggy,
unmanageable.
I bite, I tear.
Payne is a
pincushion.

Payne says she comes for tea. 
But she simply comes for me. 
Again and again. 
No matter how many goodie bags 
of Pepto Bismol, baby aspirin, floss
I send her out the door with. But 
an apple a day won’t keep Payne away.

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