“Payne Comes for Tea”

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Nolcha Fox and I wrote this poem together. Our collaborations turned into Too Much Fun To Be Legal (Garden of Neuro Publishing, 2024). This feels like a good time for some light-hearted words.

Payne Comes for Tea

Uninvited again.
Slaps my ailing knee.
“How’s it goin’?
Not up and about yet?
How ‘bout a jog
around the block? What!
Can’t do gravel for weeks?
How can I help? Dishes?
Oh, my arthritis is killing me!
Maybe next time. Can you spare
some Tramadol?


I serve Payne
headache laced with Toradol
on a plate.
I drop the napkins
to make her
gravel on her knees.
Before she leaves,
I give her a doggy bag
of arthritis and sick stomach.
I hope she enjoyed her tea.

Payne arrives
with her sewing kit.
Saw a video on YouTube.
Now an expert. Sticks needles
into my surgery knee.
“Acupuncture?” I ask.
“What’s that? I just need
a pin cushion for this thing.” —
The thing she sticks in my mouth
to keep me quiet.


I am not quiet when Payne arrives.
I growl, I snarl,
I’m a woodsy thing, shaggy,
unmanageable.
I bite, I tear.
Payne is a
pincushion.

Payne says she comes for tea.
But she simply comes for me.
Again and again.
No matter how many goodie bags
of Pepto Bismol, baby aspirin, floss
I send her out the door with. But
an apple a day won’t keep Payne away.

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6 responses to ““Payne Comes for Tea””

  1. robbiesinspiration Avatar

    I remember this poem. It is very hard hitting with its dark humour and frightening message.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Thanks! Our noir tone! LOL!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. T. W. Dittmer Avatar

    Fascinating, Barbara!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Meelosmom Avatar

      Thank you, Tim! We are wacky and noir.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. T. W. Dittmer Avatar

        😊

        Liked by 1 person

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