
My gratitude to Editor Ray Whitaker for publishing “Grandmother Lilian”, a contribution to his series “Women” on MasticadoresCanada. Ray’s current series on Women and his earlier one on Men are both fantastic. Please explore his blog and read, like, and comment on the posts.
“Grandmother Lilian” is a memoir poem from my best-selling poetry collection Three-Penny Memories: A Poetic Memoir (Experiments in Fiction, 2022).
Grandmother Lilian
I.
I love the name Lily,
that consoling grief
holding up its stem
leaning forward
to brush the bereaved
passing by.
II.
You were a tender lily, Grandmother,
avoiding crowds, cameras,
any display of your grace.
You retreated to tend to your garden
and the house. I hardly got to know you.
We lost you when I was just five.
My only memory, what Mom told me,
how she felt unmothered.
At the age of three, she rode her tricycle
down to the Sault locks,
where sailors waved
at a lonely girl.
Your other girls, Grandmother.
One died from influenza in 1919.
The other from crib death in 1934.
Did you feel it was your fault,
being the wife of a well-respected surgeon,
whose babies died in your care?
You didn’t tell your husband
about the stabbing pains
in your broken heart
that took you too young.
III.
Mom, the sorrow was shared.
It was not so much
your longing for your mother -
it was her longing for you.
Her love for you
was too fragile to share.
The loss of your sisters
built a wall around her soul
to shield the crumbling petals of grief.
Losing yet another daughter
would be unbearable.
You were left with the ghosts -
the specters of what could have been -
had your mother - and sisters –
not abandoned you.
First appeared in my book Three-Penny Memories: A Poetic Memoir (EIF-Experiments in Fiction, 2022)
Kindle (and available in Paperback)


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