Carrying the World in a Broken Laundry Basket — Spillwords
Carrying the World in a Broken Laundry Basket written by: Barbara Harris Leonhard @BarbaraLeonhar4 Isn’t easy to do on steep basement stairs. The basket, filled with the bemired nightmares of the day Stubbornly sticking to threads. 58 more words
Thank you Dagmara and the editing staff for this publication in Spillwords!
I am honored and grateful to the readers, and Dagmara and her editing staff for yet another honor.
May I have your vote? It would mean the world to me.
You can vote here: https://spillwords.com/vote/
Voting will cease on 3/1 and soon after they will reveal the winner.
Please note, you need to register and/or login to vote.
Here is my poem up for consideration as Publication of the Months of January and February. The format here is incorrect.
Marie Kondo Cleans My Purse at Starbucks
Konmari sees me at Starbucks,
my purse spilling over at the counter.
“May I help?”
She gathers me up
like I’m antique lace
washed too many times.
Before she begins, she whispers,
“Hello, the House,
I am safe. May I enter?”
She pokes through my purse,
pulling out the deck of cards
Mom once carried in her own purse.
A heavy bag of Mom’s pennies
to redeem for cash.
Her checkbook.
The messy old calendar
that listed her appointments
alongside my own.
The quilt she made me,
now falling apart. A cookbook
compiled in her own hand.
Konmari extracts other artifacts,
laying them gently on lined up tables.
People gather. My eyes bleed.
The extra-large pair of panties
Mom made me wear to Sunday school.
The wash, still not done.
A half-used bottle of Diethylstilbestrol,
she was prescribed to prevent spotting
when I was in vitro.
The tricycle she rode
around town at age three
because her mother never watched her.
My cancer scares, scattered
on the bottom of the purse
like cookie crumbs.
The scabs inflicted
by her compression stockings
I failed to wash one last time.
The clump of tissue
I miscarried, swaddled
in an inner pocket.
Her hysterectomy scar.
My hysterectomy scar.
Entwined on a spool.
My t-shaped uterus,
clenching a half-used packet
of Puffs Plus.
A dogeared photo of Mom.
A mirror reflecting
who I want to be.
Konmari has me
hold each item
one last time, saying,
“Thank you, tiny soul,
for sharing your life. I am
grateful.”
She teaches me
how to fold joy
three times.
How to throw out
what I can
no longer carry.
Thank you so much for your ongoing support!
Image: Pixabay
New poem up at Spillwords! Thank you Dagmara and the editing staff! This memoir poem is from my poetry collection in progress.
I’m looking for a publisher, by the way. 🙏🙏🙏
This poem, as do many in my collection, explores grief, the Mother Wound, our mother-daughter relationship, letting go, and healing. She suffered from Alzheimer’s, so I held her memories for her, especially her medical history for doctors, prescriptions, shopping lists, and the like. My purse was filled with both our lives intertwining. I was not only her daughter, but also her caregiver and guide.
My collection spans our experiences since my childhood. Mainly the ones that reveal the source of conflict and grief. When I was in vitro, Mom was prescribed diethylstilbestrol (DES), which made me infertile and caused my to have many cancer scares. This drug damaged many lives, as a matter of fact, for both men and women, and if they did manage to have children, their children’s reproductive organs were also malformed, and so their children also has to deal with cancerous tumors.
Mom was able to have seven kids, but I could have none. For some reason, she forgot why – perhaps her memory problems started years before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s – and sometimes shamed me for not having kids as she was able to have so many. This was the wound.
Indeed, as the oldest daughter, I helped care for all the ”little ones”, her toddler, a set of twins, and her last baby, all born between 1958 and 1961. Can you imagine? I didn’t realize at the young age of 9 that this would be my only chance to mother babies.
My poetry collection also explores other parallels in our lives. We both experienced brain damage and memory issues, hers from Alzheimer’s and mine from encephalitis, which nearly killed me at the age of 6 going on 7. At that time, she was my caregiver.
Without a doubt, working this collection of poems has been healing as I excavate my past and pick through the artifacts to understand my relationship with my mother and to forgive her, as well as myself, for the wounding. When I realized she would need me to care for her in her final years, I felt an upheaval of unresolved grief, and I knew that I had a great deal of inner work and self care to do so that I could be present to her.
That I had this opportunity to care for Mom and hold her until her last breath was truly a gift.
Issue III: hestia (hearth & home) is now available to download! The digital download is completely free but if you wish to donate/pay as you feel, you can do so through the Donate tab. Issue III: hestia (hearth & home) explores what home means to us all through poetry, prose, photography & artwork. Contributors reveal how […]
Issue III released — Free Verse Revolution:
I have two poems in this issue. ”Hestia for Hire” and ”Mermother: A Rogue Dream Poem”. As I said in an earlier post, I am so grateful. Thank you, Kristiana Reed, for including my work.
I have a new poetry podcast on the Memoirs, of Susi Bocks. You can find it here – https://meelosmom.podbean.com/e/memoirs-of-susi-bocks/
This episode features the memoirs of Susi Bocks, who courageously shares her painful upbringing by a dysfunctional and abusive mother. Grief and anger hide in wait for illumination when Susi’s heart opens to reveal her self-worth, which was so beaten down over the years. Susi shows us that we can come to terms with our past and overcome parental abuse, which often results from transgenerational trauma.
Susi Bocks, writer/author/poet, has self-published two books: Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/MyHumanityInWrittenForm/, where she invites you to read her thoughts and get to know her. Bocks’ work has been published in the anthology SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and in VitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, as well as other literary magazines.
Editor-in-Chief: The Short of It
Website: IWriteHer.com
Links: Transgenerational Trauma and Epigenetics
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-me-in-we/201205/how-trauma-is-carried-across-generations
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190326-what-is-epigenetics
Barbara Harris Leonhard is a writer, poet, and blogger. Her work appears in Phoebe, MD: Medicine and Poetry, Well Versed 2020, Spillwords; FREE VERSE REVOLUTION; Heretics, Lovers and Madmen; Go Dog Go Café; Silver Birch Press; Amethyst Review; Pillbaby.com; and Vita Brevis. She is the author of Discoveries in Academic Writing, which is based on her years of teaching English as a Second Language at the University of Missouri.
Blog: extraordinarysunshineweaver.blog
Podcast: meelosmom.podbean.com
To submit your poetic memoirs and concerns to this podcast, follow this link for the submission guidelines.
Music for this episode: “Relaxing Afternoon”, royalty free music on Podbean
Originally posted on Extraordinary Sunshine Weaver: I have uploaded an episode featuring Ivor Steven to my poetry podcast, Poetry: The Memoir of the Soul. You can access it here. https://meelosmom.podbean.com/e/memoirs-of-ivor-steven/ In this episode, I feature the memoirs of Ivor Steven, who writes of his loss of his wife to Multiple Sclerosis. His poems reveal raw…
Memoirs of Ivor Steven — Ivor.Plumber/Poet
Thank you so much for the positive review of the podcast I made based on your submission, Ivor! Your memoir about Carole is so moving!
I just published a new podcast episode which explores the grief and loss we are experiencing mainly due to the current pandemic and social upheaval. Our wellness is at stake, and those with pre-existing conditions are vulnerable. How can we maintain good health and navigate our grief when we experience loss of loved ones and disruptions in our daily life? Poetry can help us nurture compassion and heal on our sacred journeys.
https://meelosmom.podbean.com/e/grief-and-healing-1596140188/
I hope you listen, like, and share the link. My gratitude!
Image: “New Day” ©Martha Harris, Martha’s Artistic Flarings, artisticflarings.blog
Clarissa Simmens is an Independent poet; Romani drabarni (herbalist/advisor); ukulele and guitar player; wannabe song writer; and music addict. Favorite music genres include Classic Rock, Folk, Romani (Gypsy), and Cajun with an emphasis on guitar and violin music mainly in a Minor key.
Facebook: facebook.com/RomaniGypsyBooks
WordPress: poeturja.wordpress.com
Amazon Author Page: t.co/JSvNROn15t (self-published)
Cynthia Cady Stanton is a hospice chaplain, bereavement specialist, speaker, poet and writer. She is a regular contributor to Phoebe. MD: Medicine + Poetry (https://phoebemd.com/).
Website: cynthiacadystanton.com
Blog: becomingandbeholding.blog
LinkedIn: linkedin.cynthia-cady-stanton-3599b823
Denise Fletcher is a freelance writer and artist. Her creative works have appeared in Bards Against Hunger, Kaleidoscope Magazine and numerous publications in the U.S., Canada and the U.K.
Blog: Poetry Curator – poetrycurator2020.blogspot.com
Laura Kelly Fanucci, Instagram: @thismessygrace
I found her poem “When This is Over” here:
Barbara Harris Leonhard is a writer, poet, and blogger. Her work appears in Phoebe, MD: Medicine and Poetry, Well Versed 2020, Spillwords; FREE VERSE REVOLUTION; Heretics, Lovers and Madmen; Go Dog Go Café; Silver Birch Press; Amethyst Review (pending); Pillbaby.com; and Vita Brevis. She is the author of Discoveries in Academic Writing, which is based on her years of teaching English as a Second Language at the University of Missouri.
Blog: extraordinarysunshineweaver.blog
Podcast: meelosmom.podbean.com
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-power-of-positive-thinking
I finally have a new episode up on my poetry podcast, Poetry: The Memoir of the Soul. Even though I have gotten some poems published, I lost my focus and momentum with the podcasts because I felt waylaid by COVID-19.
https://meelosmom.podbean.com/e/grief-and-race-unmasked/
In this podcast, produced on Juneteeth, (June 19th), 2020, I recognize and honor the grief of African Americans, especially in light of current events with the murder of George Floyd and other African Americans by police. Racial discrimination is as lethal as another contagion we are fighting at present with COVID-19. Unless we turn to love and compassion, how can we heal? I selected poems that express different aspects of racial discrimination against Black citizens.
Poets read today: Phillis Wheatley, Gwendolyn Brooks, Langston Hughes, Rita Dove, Priscilla Jane Thompson. Their works read today were found on these sites:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/
Juneteenth (Emancipation Day, Freedom Day, Jubilee Day, and Cel-Liberation Day)
https://www.battlefields.org/learn/articles/10-facts-juneteenth
Racial Disparities in Our Medical System
https://time.com/5855756/covid-19-racial-injustice-health/
Ahmaud Arbery
George Floyd
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/31/us/george-floyd-investigation.html
Rayshard Brooks
The image for this podcast was found on harpersbazaar.com, “Here’s How You Can Demand Justice for George Floyd”, by Chelsey Sanchez, May 28, 2020.
I notice that I haven’t completed a poetry podcast since April 2. However, as you can see on my WordPress blog, I have done some publishing. It seemed easier to publish in on line sites than on my own poetry podcast in my own voice. I have to admit, everything of late has stunned me. I have lost focus to some degree when it comes to the intimacy in my podcasts.
Meanwhile, Podbean informed me my site design would not be supported, so I have chosen a new theme. Simple and clean. Kind of like life could be at this time…at least in an ideal world. https://meelosmom.podbean.com/
What the heck happened? What have we become? I was once a young girl riding my bike and playing with dolls. Now I’m hiding from a pandemic and bullets.
Does this pandemic represent our diseased minds and hearts? COVID-19 has forced us to retreat to the silence of our souls, our heart minds. Can we stand to be with ourselves? Can we cultivate our beautiful garden? Or can we only find comfort in noise (distractions, addictions, possessions). Can we truly see ourselves, love ourselves? Can we truly see and love others? And what about the Other, those who are from different tribes (families, societies, races, cultures).
What is hidden eventually rises for healing as is shown in the response to the murder of George Floyd at the knee of a cop. Racism, social inequities, corporate greed, and other forms of social, economic, and ethical/ moral malaise are symptomatic of another pandemic hidden in our Deep. George Floyd was strangled to death for passing a fake bill, but what about white-collar crime and all the money doled out to corporations while the average American can’t put food in the table with one job? With this pandemic, we suffer from huge losses in income. Our economy is flailing.
Everything that happens daily becomes the memoir of our society and our world. It’s all recorded not just on film (owing to technology) but also in our DNA. The ugly can make us ill. As Caroline Myss writes, “Our biography becomes our biology.”
I want to avert my eyes and deny all that is aberrant. However, I’m simply storing it away, like I do old journals, letters, and photos. Some things trigger joy, while others uproot pain. I think that if I don’t see it, it isn’t there, but it is creating illness.
It’s no coincidence I have taken to memoir writing, exploring my Deep. What have I buried from view? What do I need to heal? Looking at the truth is visceral and, I am told, bold maybe even courageous and healing. However, it is also dangerous. Being truthful to our word can create loss. These kinds of shifts occur because ‘all that is not aligned will fall away’.
I have feared excavating my soul because of judgment and fear of alienation and abandonment, but I see my life from my lens while others, especially members of my tribe, have their perspectives, which they can explore in their own memoirs.
I hope to continue to explore these themes in my poetry podcast and other wetting, and see my morning awaken, as the featured image of this post shows.
https://meelosmom.podbean.com/
©Barbara Leonhard, extraordinarysunshineweaver.blog
Image “Morning Awakening” ©Martha Harris, Martha’s Artistic Flarings, artisticflarings.blog
https://meelosmom.podbean.com/e/the-shape-of-our-light-1585860479/
In this episode, I explore the shape of our light. Emotions can affect the shapes of water crystals, according to experiments done by Dr. Masuru Emoto, who wrote The Hidden Messages in Water (2001). He demonstrated that the shapes of water crystals are determined by the vibrations emitted by negative and positive emotional thoughts feelings, and words. Lynne McTaggart reported on a double-blind exercise conducted by Dean Radin with the Institute of Noetic Sciences in which they were able to replicate Dr. Emoto’s experiments and findings (The Intention Experiment, 2007, 184-185). Given these findings on the relationship between emotions and water, what is the shape of our water, and thus our light, especially as we face the current pandemic?
Emoto, M. The Hidden Messages in Water (New York, Atria, 2001).
A full documentary on studies done on water with mention of Dr. Emoto’s discoveries in his lab. This documentary is fascinating. Water has not only a chemical composition but also an underlying structure which records and holds memories. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O8LPnlh_sM
McTaggart, L. The Intention Experiment (New York, Free Press, 2007).
You can find my poetry on my WordPress site, https://www.extraordinarysunshineweaver.blog.
I read my poems, “Refugees”, “Mosaic”, and “A Prayer: Calm within the Storm”.
Image “Making Choices ” ©Martha Harris, Martha’s Artistic Flarings, https://artisticflarings.blog
If you would like to contribute poetry to this podcast, you may submit it to me in a Word document attached in an email to me at meelosmom@gmail.com. On the subject line, indicate it is a submission to this podcast. I can fit it into a theme. In the email, include any pertinent information on yourself and publications you want me to promote, especially for the work submitted.
© 2020 Barbara Harris Leonhard
Unless otherwise stated, all published works are the original works of the author and are copyrighted. Contents of this podcast may be re-used either for personal or commercial purposes, in part or whole only with permission and the author duly acknowledged with links to the podcast embedded.
Extraordinary Sunshine Weaver 