Extraordinary Sunshine Weaver

When I told my uncle that Mom was moving close to me so that I could help her as she had health issues, my uncle asked me, “Do you love your mother?” His question sent me into a tailspin. I sought grief therapy to dig into the key life events that could affect my care of my mother, especially after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Our lives were always in a dance on a labyrinth on which our paths didn’t always align. Sometimes I was in flight from her. But I wanted to be a good daughter and caregiver. How did I resolve this question about love and loyalty in order to be present to my mother in her hour of need? The poems I wrote to work through the grief became a poetic memoir, Three-Penny Memories: A Poetic Memoir.

September 21 is World Alzheimer’s Day.

My mother’s story is only of over 55 million world wide. Each year, 10 million people are diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

The number of Alzheimer’s cases will almost double every 20 years, reaching 78 million in 2030 and 139 million in 2050.

The cost of this disease is over $1.3 trillion.

In 2022, over 11 million family members and unpaid caregivers provided an estimated 18 billion hours of care to people with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. 

On World Alzheimer’s Day, may we honor our loved ones who suffer from Alzheimer’s and those whose lives were stolen by this devastating disease. 

My book, Three-Penny Memories: A Poetic Memoir, was a best seller on Amazon, and I am so grateful for several 5-Star reviews. It wasn’t easy to write the poems, and at readings, the grief wells up. I still write poems about Mom.

Although it’s difficult to revisit my role as a daughter and caregiver to Mom, I want to share my story, especially with other caregivers. Caregiving may be difficult for those who work full time or have their own families to care for. There may be little time to find support groups, and respite from the caregiving may not be available. I was fortunate to have a brother close by who was a big help.

My poem “The Caregiver’s Craft” reveals my self-doubts.

Although Alzheimer’s made Mom ornery at times, I was so grateful that she loved and trusted me. She made me a promise never to forget me.

Mother’s Promise

I wonder what will happen 
if you forget me, Mom.
I think you will say,

“You’re so much nicer 
than my daughter Barbara!”

You say, “If I forget 
who you are, just remember 
I love you. 

I would never mean 
to hurt you!” 

I’m grateful because she still knew me at least until she was at her end of days, when she was between two worlds.

Alzheimer’s steals the mind, but it can never steal the heart.

Returning to my uncle’s question, I believe my uncle wanted me to think about the importance of the moment I was in. The tables were going to turn. Like Mom always said, “I used to take care of you. Now you take care of me.”

If you would like to read my story or want to share this book with others, here is the Amazon link.

If you have a memoir about illness, caregiving, aging parents, death, loss, please share the links to your book in the comment section.